They have been so many things.
We’ve been rivals, classmates, teammates.
Friends.
Friends you watch from afar each day, and dream of each night.
Published: November 15th 2022
Silas
Leo and I have been so many things.
We’ve been rivals, classmates, teammates.
Friends.
Friends you watch from afar each day, and dream of each night.
Then we were… Well, we were just us.
We didn’t ask ourselves too many questions – not even when I pretended not to be hurt by the distance he placed between us.
We made each other no promises.
I waited, hoped, believed, right up until the day I realised that everything we had was merely an illusion.
My illusion.
My name is Silas Kylemore, and I’ve learned an important lesson: never fall in love with your best friend.
Not if he’ll never be able to love you back.
Leo
Silas and I have been through so many phases.
We’ve been close, far, just a hair’s breadth apart.
Each bound to the other.
I’m talking about that kind of bond you’re never quite able to recreate.
We were young, and we were… We were just us.
We didn’t ask ourselves too many questions – not even when I pretended his absence didn’t kill me inside.
We made each other no promises.
I could never have imagined back then that what we had would push me away from him for all those years.
Years that no one could ever give back to me.
Years he’ll never forgive me for.
My name is Leo Fitzpatrick, and I’ve learned an important lesson: never try to forget the person you loved.
Not if he’s never been able to forget you.
EXCERPT
“I don’t know how to do this, Silas.”
“How to do what?”
“I wish I could go back in time.”
“Back. Back to when, exactly?”
His eyes grow painfully damp.
“You can’t,” I say, gently. “And you shouldn’t even want to.”
He lets me go slowly and moves backwards.
“Would you want to?”
“Go back in time? Honestly, I don’t know. You made your decision. You left. I don’t understand why you’re saying all this to me now…”
“Because I need to… I need you to understand and…”
“And what? Forget? I can’t do that, I’m sorry.” I walk past him out towards the fields, back the way we came.
“I should never have done it!” he yells to my back. I take a deep breath and turn around, wrapping my arms around my body in an attempt to protect something.
“I should never have given you up.”
His confession doesn’t dull the pain I felt the moment he broke my heart; the pain I’ve felt every time a man tried to give me something I didn’t want. Something I only wanted from him.
“I’ll never forgive myself. I just wanted you to know that I’m sorry. So sorry. And if I could go back…”
“You can’t. You can’t go back or erase what you did. You can’t pretend it never happened.”
Leo stares at me, his gaze pained, his arms wooden by his sides. His hands are balled into fists, his chest puffed anxiously.
“You can’t fix what you’ve broken. You can’t fix us.”
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About the author:
A. S. Kelly writes Rom-Com, Romantic Fiction and Family Saga.
Avid reader, hopeless romantic, lover of yoga, knitting and home baking.
She was born in Italy but lives in Ireland with her husband, two children and a cat named Oscar.
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