an unwanted hug - Maybe He Just Likes You by Barbara Dee

"The novel’s all-too-familiar scenario offers a springboard for discussion among middle schoolers about Mila’s experience, as well as her confusion, fear, and reluctance to discuss her situation with authority figures. Easily grasped scenarios and short chapters help make this timely #MeToo story accessible to a wide audience." —Publisher’s Weekly, STARRED REVIEW

Some boys go too far... Some Boys by Patty Blount

"You will be satisfied at the end of this powerful work." ―RT Book Review

"A largely sensitive treatment of an emotionally complex topic." ―Kirkus

"Some Boys" belongs in every YA collection." ―School Library Journal 

Can they both survive? - You Can't Force Love (Locked Hearts #1) by Marie Drake

"A battered butterfly, he'd build Kimberly up, nurture her strength and watch her return to flight. He repressed the visions dancing in the back of his mind; her naked body brandished red flags and spurred him to stampede. Bulls and butterflies did not mix."

the years have done nothing... Someone I Used to Know by Patty Blount

"A beautifully crafted look at the complications of returning to 'regular life' after a devastating sexual assault. Fierce in its unapologetic dissection of rape culture, toxic masculinity, and athletic entitlement, Patty Blount does not hold her punches with respect to how difficult healing can be for an entire family. This book is thoughtful and thought-provoking, and ultimately very hopeful for survivors and those around them." ―Christa Desir, author of FAULT LINE and BLEED LIKE ME

Find Her! it says. Be Your Own! The Girl with More Than One Heart by Laura Geringer Bass

"Throughout The Girl with More Than One Heart, Briana reflects on happier days with her late father . . . and those memories propel her to find her own way, to “be her own” (as her second heart tells her) and embrace her new life." ―BookPage

the last dance of the year - Fade Away by Jeremy T. Ringfield

Cover Reveal

The Monster's Bop is the last dance of the year, a costume party thrown by Elizabeth's high school annually. But this year is different.

the truth may tear them apart - Girl Sent Away by Lynne Griffin

“Girl Sent Away is a sensitive, compulsively readable novel about the enduring devotion of a father and daughter, and the frightening, shadowy world of troubled teens.” - William Landay, author of Defending Jacob

"A terrific and terrifying story." - Roxana Robinson, author of Cost and Sparta

Between the Notes by Sharon Huss Roat

When Ivy Emerson’s family loses their house—complete with her beloved piano—the fear of what’s to come seizes her like a bad case of stage fright. Only this isn’t one of her single, terrifying performances. It’s her life.

And it isn’t pretty.

no one’s life is anywhere near normal - Polarity in Motion by Brenda Vicars

"Fifteen-year-old Polarity Weeks just wants to live a normal life, but with a mother diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, that’s rarely easy. Her life gets exponentially more disastrous when her sixth-period history classmates start ogling a nude picture of her on the Internet."

a sign, a promise - Conviction by Kelly Loy Gilbert

Now the rules of the sport that has always been Braden’s saving grace are blurred in ways he never realized, and the prospect of playing against Alex Reyes, the nephew of the police officer his father is accused of killing, is haunting his every pitch.

a lot of attitude, tons of laughs, and a little life lesson - Summer on the Short Bus by Bethany Crandell

Spoiled, Versace-clad Cricket Montgomery has seventeen years of pampering under her belt. So when her father decides to ship her off to a summer camp for disabled teens to help her learn some accountability, Cricket resigns herself to three weeks of handicapped hell.

She is just trying to heal what she lost - The Shadow of Loss by Josefina Gutierrez

From Goodreads: "Have you ever looked at a book and just knew you were going to love it, like you had a sixth sense kind of feeling about it? After you've read the synopsis and then once you've read the book, it was everything you dreamed of and more? [...] The Shadow of Loss is clever, the dialogue is realistic, and this novel will make you think about the characters and story long after the last page. It's the very best kind of YA coming-of-age story"

no one will remain untouched... Life Unaware by Cole Gibsen

Cover Reveal - "This book is amazing!! The ending is awesome and made me proud of Reagen. Doesn't explore the anxiety disorder in too much details but it does explore earning and giving forgiveness."- Goodreads

A chilling tale of abuse and a timeless romance - Melt by Selene Castrovilla

Happy Release Day!

Description:

MELT is a brutal love story, set against the backdrop of The Wizard of Oz. Sixteen year old “good girl” Dorothy just blew into the small town of Highland Park – where the social headquarters is Munchkinland (Dunkin’ Donuts.) There, she meets Joey – a “bad boy” who tells no one about the catastrophic domestic violence he witnesses at home. Can these two lovers survive peer pressure, Joey’s reputation, and his alcoholism? And then there’s his family's secret – about to be unleashed.

Told in dual first person, Joey's words are scattered on the page - reflecting his broken state. Dorothy is the voice of reason - until something so shattering happens that she, too, may lose her grip. Can their love endure, or will it melt away?

MELT is based on true events. It is both a chilling tale of abuse, and a timeless romance. It will hit you like a punch in the face, and also seep through the cracks in your soul.

I get the writing style of “Melt” isn’t for everyone. It’s written as verse, poetic-like. But the book is so deep, but yet such an easy read. I’ll never forget it. NEVER.

And I’ll forever recommend it as a must-read. The fact that she could introduce these deep characters in such a structure and make me feel like I know them is mind blowing. 

I have nothing but praise to the author … she created a powerful book that will forever hunts the reader. Poignant and entirely realistic, MELT is a book that should NEVER be missed. - Goodreads

Goodreads ** Amazon

Facebook Party

You’ve invited to celebrate the release of Selene Castrovilla’s MELT at her Facebook Launch Party on November 9, 2014. The party will be from 5:00 – 11:00 PM EST, so we hope you’ll stop by! There will be prizes, and very special guests: Beth Fehlbaum, Gae Polisner, Cassie Shine, and Kathy Cannon Weichman. We hope to see you there!

About the author:

Selene Castrovilla is an award-winning teen and children’s author who believes that through all trends, humanity remains at the core of literature. She is the author of Saved By the Music and The Girl Next Door, teen novels originally published by WestSide Books and now available digitally through ASD Publishing. Her third children’s book with Calkins Creek Books, Revolutionary Friends, was released in April 2013. She is also a contributing author to UncommonYA. Selene holds an MFA in creative writing from New School University and a BA in English from New York University. She lives on Long Island with her two sons. Visit her website www.SeleneCastrovilla.com for book excerpts and more information!

Website ** Goodreads ** Facebook ** Twitter ** Tumblr ** Pinterest

First crushes, and scandalous secrets - Diamonds in the Rough (The Secret Diamond Sisters #2) by Michelle Madow

Description:

All-access doesn't mean no problems.

The three Diamond sisters survived the summer in style after coming to live with their long-lost billionaire father. But making a place for themselves at their exclusive new Las Vegas private school is throwing them any number of gold-plated curves. Savannah's YouTube stardom turns into a Sweet Sixteen reality show extravaganza—with complimentary enemies on the side. Dangerous flirtations don't keep Peyton from a gamble that will risk far more than she planned to bet. And when Courtney and the sisters' archenemy, Madison, uncover two explosive secrets, it will rock even this town of glittering illusion—and turn their lives upside down all over again.

Sisterhood, first crushes, and scandalous secrets explode in book two of Michelle Madow's riveting series, The Secret Diamond Sisters.

Savannah. Courtney. Peyton.

The three sisters grew up not knowing their father and not quite catching a break. But it looks like their luck is about to change when they find out the secret identity of their long-lost dad—a billionaire Las Vegas hotel owner who wants them to come live in a gorgeous penthouse hotel suite.

Suddenly the Strip's most exclusive clubs are all-access, and with an unlimited credit card each, it should be easier than ever to fit right in. But in a town full of secrets and illusion, fitting in is nothing compared to finding out the truth about their past.

"Sexy and often electrifying ... Gossip Girl meets The Princess Diaries in a city that never sleeps."-Booklist

"This quick and entertaining read is filled with glitz and glamour ... get ready for one crazy and fabulous ride." - RT Book Reviews

SAVANNAH

At fifteen years old, Savannah is the youngest Diamond sister. Her older sisters have sheltered her for her entire life. Despite her rough upbringing, she’s optimistic and wants to think the best of people, although this can sometimes lead to her coming off as naïve. She wants to fit in at school, but has always felt like an outsider. She tends to feel overshadowed by the people around her. She trusts easily, and it sometimes leads to her getting hurt, but she’s always there for her sisters and friends when they need her! 

Savannah loves singing, and has a fantastic voice, so it’s her ultimate dream to be a famous pop star. She’s been stage fright since a talent show disaster in middle school, but wants to record cover songs and post them on YouTube to try to get a following, like the YouTube stars she idolizes. She also plays guitar, but is self-taught, so she’s still learning how to improve. She mainly plays to accompany herself while singing. She’s athletic, and played on the JV volleyball team in her school in her hometown. She hopes to make Varsity as a sophomore. 

She loves shopping and wearing anything that sparkles—dresses, nail polish, shoes, eye shadow, you name it! She loves reading fashion magazines and trying to duplicate the high-end styles worn by the models. Her favorite meal of the day is breakfast, and her favorite food is pancakes. Savannah has never had a serious boyfriend, and wants more than anything to believe that true love is possible!

PEYTON

At seventeen years old, Peyton is the oldest Diamond sister. She’s been hurt in the past, but because of it, has developed a thick skin. She will do anything for her sisters, going as far as protecting them from their mom’s outbursts and getting home first from school to make sure everything in the house (including their mom) is ready for them. She’s tough, doesn’t trust easily, and while she has many people she hangs out with, the only people who she feels truly know her are her sisters. She doesn’t like school (she gets restless sitting in classrooms!) and can’t wait until graduation so she’ll be done forever. 

Peyton’s a natural night owl, and waking up in the morning is a constant struggle. (Her sisters usually resort to throwing things at her to wake her up, and often yell at her to hurry up showering so they can have time for their morning routines, too.) She needs at least three cups of coffee to get going. She loves rock music, and can usually be found with an earbud attached to her ear, even during her classes. She loves partying and dancing and getting lost in the music. She also enjoys an occasional chill night of movies and television shows, as long as it’s not a rom-com chick flick. 

She wears mostly black clothing—why bother with colors when black always looks hot on her? Her nails are usually painted black as well. She’s not afraid to speak up for what she believes in and she will always stand up for her sisters. She tries to not let anyone in to avoid getting hurt—but really she just wants to find that one person who cares enough to break down her walls.

COURTNEY

Courtney is sixteen years old, and is the middle Diamond sister. She’s the responsible one—she studies hard, does well in school, is a student tutor, and works after school and on weekends to help out her family. Her main goal is to keep up her grades and do well on her SATs so she can get into Stanford, her dream school. She wants to major in English and someday get a career in publishing. She’s competitive with herself and always strives to do her best. 

Courtney’s closest friends are her sisters—with all the time she spends on school and work, she doesn’t have time for anyone else. She’s never had a boyfriend and is fine with waiting to date until college. (She doesn’t need any distractions right now!) She’s not into the high school party scene, and whenever she has time in her busy schedule, her favorite thing to do is read novels. She also loves listening to Broadway music (Phantom of the Opera and Wicked are her favorites) and would love to see a live show someday. 

She’s a natural early bird, and is always awake before her sisters. She could happily wear jeans, t-shirts, and flip-flops every day, and always goes natural with her makeup. Her favorite drink is chai tea. She’s quiet and reserved while first meeting someone, but she will do anything for the people she loves. She would love to travel the world to see historic sites and well-known museums, but it’s always felt more like a dream than a possible reality.

Goodreads ** Amazon ** Barnes&Noble ** BooksAMillion ** BookDepository ** iTunes

About the author:

Michelle Madow was inspired to write The Secret Diamond Sisters series while walking through her favorite hotel in Las Vegas. The next book in the series, Diamonds in the Rough, launches in October. Prior to The Secret Diamond Sisters, she successfully self-published The Transcend Time Saga. A tireless promoter of her work, Michelle is active on social media networks and has toured across America to promote her books and encourage high school students to embrace reading and writing. A graduate of Rollins College, Michelle lives in Florida ... but she loves going to Vegas. 

To chat with Michelle and other fans about her books, join Michelle Madow's Street Team on Facebook!

Website ** Goodreads ** Twitter ** Facebook 

Secrets and illusion - The Secret Diamond Sisters by Michelle Madow

Description:

Savannah. Courtney. Peyton.

The three sisters grew up not knowing their father and not quite catching a break. But it looks like their luck is about to change when they find out the secret identity of their long-lost dad—a billionaire Las Vegas hotel owner who wants them to come live in a gorgeous penthouse hotel suite.

Suddenly the Strip's most exclusive clubs are all-access, and with an unlimited credit card each, it should be easier than ever to fit right in. But in a town full of secrets and illusion, fitting in is nothing compared to finding out the truth about their past.

"Sexy and often electrifying ... Gossip Girl meets The Princess Diaries in a city that never sleeps."-Booklist

"This quick and entertaining read is filled with glitz and glamour ... get ready for one crazy and fabulous ride." - RT Book Reviews

All-access doesn't mean no problems.

The three Diamond sisters survived the summer in style after coming to live with their long-lost billionaire father. But making a place for themselves at their exclusive new Las Vegas private school is throwing them any number of gold-plated curves. Savannah's YouTube stardom turns into a Sweet Sixteen reality show extravaganza—with complimentary enemies on the side. Dangerous flirtations don't keep Peyton from a gamble that will risk far more than she planned to bet. And when Courtney and the sisters' archenemy, Madison, uncover two explosive secrets, it will rock even this town of glittering illusion—and turn their lives upside down all over again.

Sisterhood, first crushes, and scandalous secrets explode in book two of Michelle Madow's riveting series, The Secret Diamond Sisters.

SAVANNAH

At fifteen years old, Savannah is the youngest Diamond sister. Her older sisters have sheltered her for her entire life. Despite her rough upbringing, she’s optimistic and wants to think the best of people, although this can sometimes lead to her coming off as naïve. She wants to fit in at school, but has always felt like an outsider. She tends to feel overshadowed by the people around her. She trusts easily, and it sometimes leads to her getting hurt, but she’s always there for her sisters and friends when they need her! 

Savannah loves singing, and has a fantastic voice, so it’s her ultimate dream to be a famous pop star. She’s been stage fright since a talent show disaster in middle school, but wants to record cover songs and post them on YouTube to try to get a following, like the YouTube stars she idolizes. She also plays guitar, but is self-taught, so she’s still learning how to improve. She mainly plays to accompany herself while singing. She’s athletic, and played on the JV volleyball team in her school in her hometown. She hopes to make Varsity as a sophomore. 

She loves shopping and wearing anything that sparkles—dresses, nail polish, shoes, eye shadow, you name it! She loves reading fashion magazines and trying to duplicate the high-end styles worn by the models. Her favorite meal of the day is breakfast, and her favorite food is pancakes. Savannah has never had a serious boyfriend, and wants more than anything to believe that true love is possible!

PEYTON

At seventeen years old, Peyton is the oldest Diamond sister. She’s been hurt in the past, but because of it, has developed a thick skin. She will do anything for her sisters, going as far as protecting them from their mom’s outbursts and getting home first from school to make sure everything in the house (including their mom) is ready for them. She’s tough, doesn’t trust easily, and while she has many people she hangs out with, the only people who she feels truly know her are her sisters. She doesn’t like school (she gets restless sitting in classrooms!) and can’t wait until graduation so she’ll be done forever. 

Peyton’s a natural night owl, and waking up in the morning is a constant struggle. (Her sisters usually resort to throwing things at her to wake her up, and often yell at her to hurry up showering so they can have time for their morning routines, too.) She needs at least three cups of coffee to get going. She loves rock music, and can usually be found with an earbud attached to her ear, even during her classes. She loves partying and dancing and getting lost in the music. She also enjoys an occasional chill night of movies and television shows, as long as it’s not a rom-com chick flick. 

She wears mostly black clothing—why bother with colors when black always looks hot on her? Her nails are usually painted black as well. She’s not afraid to speak up for what she believes in and she will always stand up for her sisters. She tries to not let anyone in to avoid getting hurt—but really she just wants to find that one person who cares enough to break down her walls.

COURTNEY

Courtney is sixteen years old, and is the middle Diamond sister. She’s the responsible one—she studies hard, does well in school, is a student tutor, and works after school and on weekends to help out her family. Her main goal is to keep up her grades and do well on her SATs so she can get into Stanford, her dream school. She wants to major in English and someday get a career in publishing. She’s competitive with herself and always strives to do her best. 

Courtney’s closest friends are her sisters—with all the time she spends on school and work, she doesn’t have time for anyone else. She’s never had a boyfriend and is fine with waiting to date until college. (She doesn’t need any distractions right now!) She’s not into the high school party scene, and whenever she has time in her busy schedule, her favorite thing to do is read novels. She also loves listening to Broadway music (Phantom of the Opera and Wicked are her favorites) and would love to see a live show someday. 

She’s a natural early bird, and is always awake before her sisters. She could happily wear jeans, t-shirts, and flip-flops every day, and always goes natural with her makeup. Her favorite drink is chai tea. She’s quiet and reserved while first meeting someone, but she will do anything for the people she loves. She would love to travel the world to see historic sites and well-known museums, but it’s always felt more like a dream than a possible reality.

Goodreads ** Amazon  ** Barnes&Noble ** BooksAMillion ** BookDepository ** iTunes

About the author:

Michelle Madow was inspired to write The Secret Diamond Sisters series while walking through her favorite hotel in Las Vegas. The next book in the series, Diamonds in the Rough, launches in October. Prior to The Secret Diamond Sisters, she successfully self-published The Transcend Time Saga. A tireless promoter of her work, Michelle is active on social media networks and has toured across America to promote her books and encourage high school students to embrace reading and writing. A graduate of Rollins College, Michelle lives in Florida ... but she loves going to Vegas. 

To chat with Michelle and other fans about her books, join Michelle Madow's Street Team on Facebook!

Website ** Goodreads ** Twitter ** Facebook 

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She has little choice: The Intern by Gabrielle Tozer

Description:

Seventeen-year-old Josie is studying journalism and ends up at Sash magazine to do an internship. Josie has little enthusiasm for fashion and wants to be a serious journalist. But she has little choice. It’s Sash or the local cat fancier’s magazine.

Once at Sash, Josie comes to grips with the fact that the fashion industry isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Plus she has to contend with her fellow interns and the editor, Rae, who is in charge and arbitrary – one day Josie’s her hot new favorite, the next, who knows?

Country girl Josie also has to get used to living in the city, and sharing a small flat with her cousin Tim, and his hotter-than-hot roommate James, is an education. Things come to a head at Sash when Josie manages to connect with Billy, a troubled rock star. But a disastrous episode at a nightclub and the fallout on social media causes Josie to wake up and see the real person behind his glamorous front.

Josie starts to wonder if she’ll ever get the journalistic break she longs for …

EXCERPT

Melons. The girls. Gazongas. I could rattle off every nickname in the world for my boobs — oops, nearly forgot jubblies — but it didn’t change the fact they were small. Embarrassingly small. Think grapes over melons, fun-size bags over fun bags, shot glasses over jugs.

Which was why I shouldn’t have been surprised when my boobs were the catalyst for squeals of laughter from my younger sister, Kat, on the eve before an important day. A Very Important Day.

‘Geez, put those puppies away,’ Kat smirked from my bedroom doorway. ‘Some of us haven’t had lunch yet and I’d hate to lose my appetite.’

I paused from rifling through piles of crumpled clothes on my bed. ‘What? I don’t know what you —’

‘Just look down,’ said Kat, tossing her jet-black ponytail. I hated when she did that. Following her instructions, I looked down and saw my left nipple peeking out of my bra. ‘Argh!’ I yelped, yanking at the faded material. ‘Kat, get out! Get out!’

Kat cackled, then plonked onto my bed, squashing the heaving mass of clothes. Too tired to argue, I sat down next to her and double-checked that my boob hadn’t made another escape.

Kat fussed with her thick fringe. ‘So, found something to wear tomorrow, Jose?’

Broken shoes, stained shirts and fraying dresses burst from the wardrobe, spilling into an unwearable mess. A personal stylist would’ve come in handy to tell me why I shouldn’t tape my sneakers together instead of buying a new pair, and how to dress like a normal seventeenalmost- eighteen-year-old.

‘Yep. Well, maybe. Probably. No. I’m screwed. My sister just saw my boob and I’m screwed.’

Cursing, I lay back on the bed. Kat reapplied her gloss. It smelled of cherries, reminiscent of summery desserts.

‘Hey Jose?’ she said.

‘Yeah?’

‘I won’t tell anyone I saw your boob.’

‘Thanks.’

‘Well, except Tye,’ Kat added. ‘I tell him everything.

You know, boyfriend rules and all that.’ I sighed. One of those melodramatic I-hate-my-life 

sighs, where the air rushed up from the depths of my stomach and exploded with a raging ‘whoosh’. But if Kat noticed, she didn’t show it.

‘Hey Jose?’ she said again.

‘Yeah?’

‘You’re going to have to look amazing tomorrow, you know?’

‘I know.’ I know. I know. I know.

‘Amaaaazing. Seriously, tomorrow’s important. Mum’s been yabbering to everyone about it.’

‘Heard you the first time.’

During the past few weeks, Kat had been firing off tips about the Very Important Day. Wear this, don’t wear that, do this, don’t do that, say this, don’t say that. I knew she was trying to help me reduce the risk of embarrassing myself, but it only made me more panicked. You see, life loved handing me something amazing, only to backhand me almost straight after.

It had always been that way. In Year Eight, after my first kiss, the delectable Pete Jordan vomited from food poisoning and hadn’t spoken to me since. At Year Ten presentation night, I was named ‘Most Likely To Succeed’, only to faceplant the ground as I walked back to my seat. Some moron recorded my historic fall, making me an overnight YouTube sensation. I won’t even go into what happened at my Year Twelve formal, although it involved a spiked punch bowl, ninety rolls of toilet paper and a paddock of mud. I don’t know why I thought the next day — the Very Important Day —

would be any different, but I was counting on a fairygodmother-shaped miracle.

Most girls I knew, like Kat, spent their allowances or pay on make-up, jewellery, fashion, music, phone credit and magazines.

For me, magazines were a sparkly fantasy filled with smiling, shiny people who looked too happy all the time.

That didn’t stop me from leafing through Kat’s magazines when she was out, but instead of checking out the fashion I was reading the feature stories, scoping out who wrote them and looking for spelling mistakes.

I’d studied hard at high school for six years because I was destined to be a news journalist at a newspaper or radio station. So it had come as a huge shock to everyone, including me, to discover I would be interning at a magazine as part of my uni degree’s second semester And not just any magazine. I’d been signed up to (translation: pushed into) a one-day-a-week internship at one of the hottest women’s magazines in the country, Sash.

When I told Kat my news, she was thirteen per cent excited for me and eighty-seven per cent envious. In her world, my inability to use a curling iron meant I didn’t deserve the intern position. Her warning of ‘Don’t say anything stupid to the Sash girls and ruin my chances of working there one day’ hadn’t filled me with confidence.

Unless I underwent the world’s first personality transplant between here and the city, I knew I’d find a way to put my high-heeled foot in it.

Kat picked up a ratty floral dress from the top of the pile and threw it into the bin near my desk.

‘Hey! What are you doing?’ I said. ‘I’ve had that for ages.’

‘Exactly,’ she shot back, rolling her blue eyes in a flurry of mascara, eyeliner and eye shadow. ‘Tomorrow you need to look hot and cool. You can’t wear your crappy old clothes at a place like that. Now, here’s what I’m thinking …’

I sighed and tuned out. I couldn’t handle another one of Kat’s pep talks where she criticised my worn-out sandals, mismatched socks, lack of bold lipstick, split ends and under-plucked brows.

‘… so come on, it’s makeover time. We’re getting our shop on,’ barked Kat, unaware that I’d been ignoring her rant.

‘I’ll sort it. Trust me.’

Grunting in disbelief, Kat held up a daggy blue skirt and waved it around. ‘This opportunity is wasted on you — and your small boobs!’

She threw the skirt back onto the bed and stormed out, her ponytail whipping behind her. I heard her bedroom door slam — twice, just in case I missed the first. I held the skirt up against my lower body and took in the reflection grimacing back at me. Mousy brown hair, scruffy but fine. Eyes, green and wide, easily my favourite feature. Eyebrows, semi-unruly but manageable. Lips, pouty and pink, no major complaints but occasionally clownish. Nose, free from any wart-like protrusions so doing okay. Boobs, small in size — obviously — but apparently confident enough to jump free of brassiere at a whim. Everything from the waist down blurred together: hips, thighs and legs were all … just there.

I gazed at the skirt. Sure, I’d owned it for five years, and it was a hand-me-down from my weird cousin Tracey, but it was all I had. I needed another opinion. 

‘Mum, can you come here for a sec?’

Moments later, Mum appeared in the doorway, balancing an overflowing washing basket on one hip and holding a bag of pegs. Her shaggy brown hair was pulled into a loose bun at the nape of her neck and held with a rusty peg. A fresh yellow daisy played peekaboo from behind her right ear. Mum loved plucking flowers from the garden and wearing them until they wilted.

Her dress — another bargain from the op shop — had faded to a musky pink and clung to her body in all the wrong places. But none of these things detracted from her pretty features, which glowed without even a hint of foundation, blush or mascara.

‘Yes, love?’ she asked, readjusting the basket on her hip.

I held up the skirt. ‘How hideous is this? Would you say it’s send-me-home-to-change hideous or let-me-staybut-bitch-about-me-behind-my-back hideous?’

Mum shrugged, then patted me on the shoulder.

‘Josephine Browning, you always look gorgeous.’

‘You have to say that.’

‘Not true. When you were a child you had enormous ears — reminded me of a baby elephant — and I was the first person to point them out.’

‘Mum!’

‘But I do like that skirt.’

‘Kat reckons I need a new outfit — new dress, heels, the works. You know, for tomorrow.’

‘Wait, is that my skirt? I thought I’d passed it on to your cousin Tracey. I should’ve hung onto it if it’s back in fashion, love.’

I forced a smile. Kat’s outburst about my lack of options suddenly didn’t seem so hysterical. It was time to admit defeat to the self-proclaimed fashion queen of the house, which ranked number two on my Things I Hate To Do List. (Number one: cross-country running.)

I knocked on Kat’s bedroom door with its Stay Out sign sticky-taped above the doorknob. Rock music pounded from within and I imagined her writing in her diary about her ugly, frumpy, older sister. Either that, or sneaking out the window to meet up with Tye. I doubted she was dabbling in the rare option of cleaning her room, although when it came to Kat I could never be sure.

The door cracked open. ‘Whaddya want?’

‘Um, what were you saying about the shops?’

‘Not another word, I hear your unfashionable cries for help loud and clear,’ said Kat, scooping up a handbag from the floor and swinging it over her shoulder. ‘Get

your wallet, Jose, because when we’re done you’re definitely going to need it.’

I looked like a tarted-up pageant queen. As I stared into the full-length mirror, all I could see was big green eyes, big pink mouth, big bold jewellery, big bright patterns and big high-heeled shoes.

Everything was big, right down to the price tags. I smelled like a perfumery and my face itched from the foundation and bronzer caking my skin. Kat beamed, admiring her work. She’d taken me on a whirlwind tour of the department store, trialling makeup products at every counter. Before I could stop her, she called out to a saleswoman who was hovering nearby.

‘She looks amazing, right? Like, amazing,’ Kat said.

‘Oh yeah, amazing,’ gushed the woman, fuelled by the anticipation of a sale. ‘Hon, you should seriously get that whole outfit.’

I blushed, reminded of when Mum took me to buy my first bra in Year Six and invited the shop owner into the change room to admire my ‘growing buds’. Like Mum, Kat had the intuition of a dead caterpillar when it came to sensing my discomfort. I squeezed my wallet a little tighter as the saleswoman circled me, eyeing me up and down. She’d detected my fear the moment we’d walked into the store and I’d cried out, ‘Is that a belt or a skirt?’

Mentally, I double-locked my piggy bank and buried it in a safe three hundred metres below ground level, complete with security guards and CCTV cameras.

I snuck another peek in the mirror and cringed at the loud colours competing for my attention. The dress felt tight, but Kat was convinced it fitted perfectly. I had to admit, it was creating curves in places usually hidden by baggy T-shirts or baby-doll dresses.

To my right, a mannequin wearing the same outfit, down to the bright yellow peep-toes, was looking rather fashionable. ‘How do you do it?’ I muttered to her.

‘Okay, I’ll say it: this is the best you’ve ever looked,’ said Kat. ‘Wear this tomorrow and you’ll kill it. That dress is hot.’

‘Weren’t we aiming for hot and cool?’

Kat rolled her eyes. ‘Let’s not go crazy, Jose. It is you we’re talking about.’

The saleswoman cleared her throat. ‘So do you want to pay with cash or credit, hon?’

I ran through my wardrobe options at home one final time. A montage of outdated playsuits, daggy dresses and worn shoes danced in my mind, the blue skirt at the forefront. I had no choice: I was getting the outfit.

‘Cash, thanks.’

I handed over the crumpled notes. There was no turning back now.

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About the author:

Gabrielle Tozer is a senior features writer who has edited, sub-edited and written for several magazines, newspapers and anthologies throughout the past decade. In addition to Gabrielle’s work on Dolly, Cosmopolitan, DisneyGiRL, Mamamia and FamilyFun, she has also written for creative journals such as GOfish and Take It As Red. Born and bred in regional New South Wales, Gabrielle now works at Pacific Magazines and lives in the heart of Sydney.

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Author's Giveaway

Entry-Form

Before, she knew exactly what she wanted - Confessions of a Teenage Rape Survivor by Holly Dae

Release date: October 16th 2014

Description:

Before she was raped, almost sixteen-year-old Allison Sommer knew exactly what she wanted and was in total control of her life. Get through high school, go to college to appease her dad, somehow stay fit, lithe, and athletic through all the stress and become a professional cheerleader. Normal teenage stuff. Simple. At least it was simple before she was raped. 

Now Allison's whole life is out of her control. She can't trust in her own choices, can't rationalize anything anymore, so she just goes through the motions, hoping that eventually she'll go back to normal, can stop pretending. That doesn't happen, especially when she's forced to reveal what happened to her family and closest friends.

On the MTV commercials and reality shows that emphasize that she has nothing to be ashamed of and guide viewers to some website like don't-be-a-victim.comand a support hotline, no one warns her that the aftermath is more difficult than the rape itself, that her family's efforts to be supportive make her feel more alone and confused. 

And being raped has more devastating consequences than Allison ever imagined, forcing her to make one of the most difficult decisions she's ever had to make. It should be a no-brainer, everyone says, but being raped makes Allison question everything and everyone she thought she could trust.

Either way, Allison won't let anyone force her to do anything again, not like her rapists did, even if it makes her already difficult enough circumstance more difficult. Uncensored and unflinchingly honest, these are the confessions of a teenage rape survivor.

EXCERPT

"Are those your brother's sleeping pills?" Gene asked.

Allison nodded. No use denying that.

Gene looked at her again, then at the pills, and then at Allison again. His eyes widened.

"Were you going to take all of those?" Gene asked in an incredulous tone. He didn't wait for an answer, already having assumed the worst. "How many have you taken already?"

Allison opened her mouth to reply, forgetting that one of the pills was sitting under her tongue. Gene saw it as she started to try to explain.

"Oh shit! Spit that out!"

Gene reached across the counter to squeeze her cheeks and force the pill out her mouth causing Allison to have two instantaneous reactions. First, she spit out the pill. Second, she punched Gene straight in the jaw, which caused Gene to let go of her and grab his face.

"What the—"

Allison gasped as she shook her hand out. She shouldn't have done that. She didn't mean to do that. Gene wasn't a rapist. Well, she hoped he wasn't. The guy who asked her for directions to distract her didn't look like a rapist either. Either way when Gene grabbed her so suddenly, she couldn't help it.

"I'm sorry," she said quickly.

"Are you insane? What is wrong with you?"

"I didn't mean to punch you. It was an accident. I swear."

Gene rolled his eyes, stilling rubbing his jaw. "Not the punch. I probably deserved that for scaring the hell out of you, grabbing you like that. I'm talking about those sleeping pills. That many of those things at once can kill you."

Allison blinked. He thought…

"I wasn't trying to commit suicide!"

"Could have fooled me," Gene said sliding the pills off the counter and into his hand. He threw them down the garbage disposer.

"But I wasn't," Allison said, heart racing in panic. If Gene thought she was trying to kill herself, he'd tell her brother, and her brother would tell their dad, and she'd never be left alone, and she'd have to tell the truth. Then they'd make a big deal out of it and want her to report it to the police, and the police would want a description and account of what happened, and then she'd never be able to forget. "I just wasn't thinking."

"The hell you weren't," Gene snapped as he snatched the bottle with the remaining pills off the counter and put them in his pocket.

"I was just so tired and the bottle said one pill was mild and good for four hours of sleep, so I decided to take enough to knock me out for a day," Allison tried to explain.

"Six pills would have knocked you out all right," Gene said as he began to dial a number into his phone.

"What are you doing?" she asked apprehensively.

"Calling your brother," Gene said and then cursed. "Damn it. I have his phone in my pocket. Do I have your dad's number in my phone?"

Allison lunged for the phone. In all likelihood, he probably didn't have her dad's number, but she didn't want to chance it.

"You can't call tell them," Allison said grabbing onto the phone.

Gene tried to pull it out her grasp as he said, "Sure. Not telling your brother and father that you're suicidal is a great idea."

"I'm not suicidal."

"Says the girl who was about to take six sleeping pills," Gene said getting the phone out of Allison's grip and holding it out of her reach.

Allison all but tackled him into the counter.

"I told you!" Allison screamed, exploding in anger. "I'm tired! I just wanted to go to sleep without the nightmares! You can't… You can't tell them," Allison finished, all her anger dissolving as a sob escaped her throat. She hadn't even noticed she started crying.

She stopped trying to get the phone then, falling onto the floor as her body shook with sobs of fear at what Gene would do and anger at herself. When did she get so weak?

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About the author:

Holly Dae is a recent college grad with a B.A. in English who, instead of putting on a suit to work at a desk 9-5 for five figures and a lifetime of misery and crushed dreams, decided to write YA novels about the taboos concerning contemporary issues like rape, abortion, drugs, teen pregnancy, and sometimes sex with the hopes that someone will pat her on the back and say she touched their life.

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Excerpt and Giveaway: Bleed Like Me by Christa Desir

Published: October 7th, 2014

Description:

From the author of Fault Line comes an edgy and heartbreaking novel about two self-destructive teens in a Sid and Nancy–like romance full of passion, chaos, and dyed hair.

Seventeen-year-old Amelia Gannon (just “Gannon” to her friends) is invisible to almost everyone in her life. To her parents, to her teachers—even her best friend, who is more interested in bumming cigarettes than bonding. Some days the only way Gannon knows she is real is by carving bloody lines into the flesh of her stomach.

Then she meets Michael Brooks, and for the first time, she feels like she is being seen to the core of her being. Obnoxious, controlling, damaged, and addictive, he inserts himself into her life until all her scars are exposed. Each moment together is a passionate, painful relief.

But as the relationship deepens, Gannon starts to feel as if she’s standing at the foot of a dam about to burst. She’s given up everything and everyone in her life for him, but somehow nothing is enough for Brooks—until he poses the ultimate test.

Bleed Like Me is a piercing, intimate portrayal of the danger of a love so obsessive it becomes its own biggest threat.

My first book FAULT LINE is a book about a girl who is gang-raped at a party and is told from the POV of her boyfriend who did not attend the party. BLEED LIKE ME is told from a girl’s POV who is in a very co-dependent and unhealthy relationship. BLM is not exactly an “issue” book in the same way that FAULT LIINE is and even the things that come up in BLM aren’t as polarizing as FL. Books about rape can be very tricky, particularly if people are sexual violence survivors. BLEED is a different sort of book because it leaves the reader with questions about what we’re willing to sacrifice in order for someone to love us. 

[I] don’t really write “message” books and if a reader is going in looking for one, they’ll end up disappointed. But, I do like to leave readers with questions about the story I’ve told and in the case of BLEED, I hope that they think about what it means to love and what we do to fill the holes inside of us.

EXCERPT 

"You sure you’re okay?” I asked again as Brooks navigated the streets to my house. His lips looked bluish-purple and he gripped the steering wheel to keep his hands from shaking.

“Yep.” His teeth chattered and I bit my lip.

“Not to be a bitch, but I did warn you the water would be freezing.”

He pulled the car to the side of the road. “Gannon. You’re gonna need to stop doing that.”

“Doing what?”

“Acting like you give a shit.”

I opened and closed my mouth. “I—“

He faced forward and gripped the steering wheel again. “Don’t bother lying. It’s true. You don’t really care. You don’t really know me. You’re just intrigued.”

I shrugged. We sat in silence for too long. “Do you want to tell me about your back?” I’d been thinking about his scars ever since I’d seen him at the river.

“Not really. Do you want to tell me about the cutting?”

“Nope.”

He released a breath. “Okay then.”

I tapped his shoulder and pointed to the end of the street. “I can get out there.” I moved my hand to the door handle, but he batted it away.

“I can drive you to your house,” he said.

I dropped my hands to my lap and eyed the clock. My parents should be asleep, but after the argument from the other night, I couldn’t be sure. What would they think of Brooks?

He stopped two houses away from mine and faced me. “We’re gonna be a thing, you and me.”

“I don’t even know you,” I repeated back to him. The thing was, I wanted to know him. I was intrigued. But it was more than that. Something I didn’t even want to think about.

His fingers traced a line down my cheek. “You will, though. And I’ll know you. We’re gonna be good together.”

“I’m a mess,” I blurted out. Stupid. Too many emotions skated along my skin when I was with him. It was like my shields didn’t work around his Brooks-ness.

His laughter echoed through the car and I blinked back tears. “Oh Gannon.” His rough fingers traced my eyelids, finding unshed tears. “Don’t cry. I like the mess. It makes me look better.”

He leaned forward then and took my cheeks in his hands. His mouth dropped to mine and then he really kissed me. Not a little peck or a rushed kiss like the one in the woods. A real kiss. Lips and teeth and tongue and it was so overwhelming, I almost couldn’t breathe. My hands tugged at his blue hair and I inched toward him, holding myself back from hopping into his lap. He laughed into my mouth and I let go.

He rubbed his thumb over my bottom lip and looked at me hard. “Yeah. We’ll work.”

He sat back into his seat. I moved on autopilot, grabbing my messenger bag and opening the door. The cool night air rushed over me, but I didn’t feel it. Didn’t notice my feet stumbling as I walked toward my house, knowing his eyes were on me without even turning to check. My fingers brushed over my mouth again and again. I slipped the key into the lock of the front door and finally turned back to see he was still parked in the same spot. He lifted his hand and waved at me. I waved back and then slipped into our dark front hall. My legs buckled beneath me.

I wanted to tell someone. Call Ricardo. Text Ali. Wake my mom. But sharing wasn’t my style. So I snuck up to my room and lay on my bed, staring at the ceiling. My hands slid beneath the edge of my shirt and I traced the lines carved into my stomach. And even though I knew better than to believe it, I couldn’t stop the echoing of Brooks’s words in my head: We’re gonna be good together.

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About the author:

I’m Christa Desir and I write young adult novels. I am an avid reader and have been in love with YA books ever since reading Judy Blume’s FOREVER (while hiding between the stacks in the library).

My first success with writing came at the age of five when I wrote a story about my sister and our neighbor Andy “kissing in the dushes.” My parents were so proud of this work, they framed it and showed it to every visitor who came to our house. My sister still has not forgiven me.

I live outside of Chicago with my awesome husband, Julio, and our three children. When I'm not writing, I am an editor of romance novels. I am also a feminist, former rape victim advocate, lover of coffee and chocolate, and head of the PTA. It is a rare day when I don’t humiliate myself somehow, and I frequently blog about my embarrassing life moments.

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Author's Giveaway

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Giveaway and Special Offer: Out of Reach by Missy Johnson

Description:

My best friend was dying and I was in love with his girl.

Andy and I had been best friends since we were eight-years old.

Watching him slowly fade away, ever closer to his final breath, made me so incredibly angry. I knew there was nothing I could do to change it--I had given in to despair, but Andy had not. He had one last hand to play. 

He wasn't going to simply sit back and wait for Death to claim him--not Andy. He was going to live life until he couldn't hold his eyes open any longer.

Andy didn't want to die in some sterile hospital and asked me to take him and Emily to the beach. It would be our last road trip together.

Emily. Emily was a problem for me. 

I harbored a secret that would have torn our friendship apart. I was in love with Andy's girl, and had been since she'd walked into our sixth grade class, so many years ago.

So what kind of person am I? My best friend is dying, and it's awful--but my heart still aches for his girl. I hate myself for thinking beyond Andy's death and whether there could ever be a future for Emily and I, but I can't help it. 

I'm in love with her.

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About the author:

Missy lives in a small town in Central Victoria with her husband, and her confused pets (a dog who think she's a cat, a cat who thinks he's a dog...you get the picture). 

When she's not writing, she can usually be found looking for something to read. 

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