Moxie’s rollicking adventures are the stuff of comedy- Moxie's Decision by Hank Quense

Sometimes it’s fun to add a little laughter and satire to our daily routine!!

Entertaining from beginning to end, MOXIE'S DECISION is uproariously funny and satire at its best. Selected as one of 2016's best YA novels: Huffington Post. 

It’s also a top pick! Indie Reader: 5 stars

Description:

Moxie has a plan; she’s determined to rule as queen after her father, King Smedley, dies.

But Smedley refuses to acknowledge her as his heir. Her uncle also wants the throne and he’s already tried once to eliminate Moxie as competition. 

Moxie recognizes she hasn't been trained to rule and she needs lessons about the real world. Moxie goes on a quest to learn how to rule and to learn about life outside the castle. 

Moxie faces unexpected obstacles as she struggles with adventures in a brutal reality that tests her mettle and determination. 

This is a fantasy coming-of-age story that is decidedly different than the usual ones. The book is filled with satire and humor. What more can a reader wish for? 

It takes place against the backdrop of Camelot, but this isn’t the Camelot of legends. It’s Camelot in a parallel universe where the Knights of the Round Table play football and Guinevere coaches the team’s cheer leaders. The wizard Merlin struggles to understand the Magic of the Mind using primitive ink stained diagrams and Stonehenge is a theater-in-the-round.

Moxie’s rollicking adventures are the stuff of comedy . Enjoy!

EXCERPT

EXCERPT

TOUR SCHEDULE

Backstory: Moxie has joined the Heroes Guild.  The chief instructor, Harry the Murderer is enraged that a woman has been allowed to join.  Harry has vowed to get Moxie to quit within two days.  This scene is Moxie’s first day of training

For the afternoon training session, Moxie and the others were issued wooden swords and stuffed vests.  Five instructors broke the class up into small sections.  Before the instructors could start the training, Harry showed up.  "This one is mine," he said pointing to Moxie.  Harry carried a wooden sword.  "Over here," he told Moxie.  "I'm gonna give ya lessons ya won't forget."

Moxie's emotional state plummeted.  She knew Harry's lessons would be painful.

At an empty spot on the field, Harry said, "Attack me, Princess Pond Scum."

Moxie liked the sound of hurting Harry and she swung the sword at his stomach.  To her surprise, the sword flew out of her hand.  Moxie rubbed her aching sword hand and glared at the laughing Harry.  "Go git it, Pond Scum."

With her sword held ready, Harry said, "Now I'm gonna attack and ya gotta block my sword.  Ready?"

Moxie nodded.  Harry's sword moved with a blurring speed and whacked her in the ribs before she could begin to react.  Even with the protective vest, she felt an acute pain from the blow.  Harry laughed again.  "Ain't this fun?"

Moxie realized what Harry had in mind.  He planned to pummel her into submission, forcing her to leave the Guild.  Moxie knew she had to do something to save herself, but she didn't know what it was.  She'd just have to take the beating until Harry got tired.

Harry said, "Attack me.  The way I just attacked ya."

Moxie lunged and her sword flew out of hand again.  When she bent over to pick it up, Harry smacked her in the butt with the flat of his sword blade.  Moxie sprawled on her stomach while Harry said, "Aww, is Princess Pond Scum eatin' some dirt?  How does it taste?"

Moxie felt tears well up in her eyes.  All her classmates had stopped training and gawked at her and Harry.  She couldn't take any more humiliation.  She decided to end this uneven battle.  Moxie stood up, brushed dirt from her uniform front and walked over to Harry.  He looked down on her with a grin on her face.

Moxie kicked Harry in the shin with the tip of her heavy boot.

Harry roared in pain and surprise as he hopped around on one leg.  When he stopped moving, Moxie kicked his other shin and jumped back ten paces to get away from any wild punches from Harry.

Harry's face contorted in hatred and rage.  His eyes focused on Moxie.  He growled and sucked in huge draughts of air.

Moxie knew Harry would tear her in half if he didn't get control of his anger.

When Harry's breathing grew a bit more regular, Moxie said, "Stop being a bully.  You're supposed to be an instructor.  So why don't you teach me something useful instead of toying with me and showing off what a great warrior you are?"  She slammed her hands on her hips and glared at Harry.

Something akin to a smile flickered across Harry's face and he nodded.  "Let's talk defense first.  Hold your sword like this."  Harry held his sword upright with the hilt waist high.  "From this position ya move it to block a blow from the left or right, high or low."  He moved the sword to show how to block an assault from various quarters. "Do that."

Moxie imitated his movements. 

"Faster this time."

Moxie did it again.

"Yer too slow.  Yer gonna die onna first blow.  Faster."

Moxie went through the exercise a dozen times.  She could feel herself moving the sword faster and with more confidence.

Harry nodded.  "Now go back to yer group."  He walked off the field. 

Harry's slight limp delighted Moxie.

Later that day, when Moxie walked into the mess hall for dinner, everyone stood and gave her an ovation. 

Moxie gaped at the trainees.

One classmate waved her over to his table and a group of trainees squeezed together to make room for her at their table. 

A bewildered Moxie sat down there with her food tray.  "What's all the clapping for?" she asked.

"Are you kiddin'?" a classmate said.  "You're famous for kickin' Harry.  Everyone in the Guild knows about it."

"I just did it to protect myself from his bullying.  I don't think it's such a big deal."

"You don't understand," another trainee said.  "You did what everyone of us always wanted to do but never had the guts to do."

"And it’s not just that," a third one added.  "Harry will now have his eye on you all the time and that means he won't have time to harass us.  You just made everyone else's life easier."

"For which we are in your debt," the first replied, "and we intend to honor our debt."

Moxie's eyes filled up again, but this time it wasn't from fear or sadness or humiliation.  For the first time in her life, it was from happiness.  She had actually made some friends.

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About the author:

Hank Quense writes humorous and satiric sci-fi and fantasy stories.

He also writes and lectures about fiction writing and self-publishing. He has published 19 books and 50 short stories along with dozens of

articles. He often lectures on fiction writing and publishing and has a series of guides covering the basics on each subject. He is currently working on a third Moxie novel that takes place in the Camelot era.

He and his wife, Pat, usually vacation in another galaxy or parallel universe. They also time travel occasionally when Hank is searching for new story ideas.

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This tour-wide giveaway (prizes courtesy of the author) is for five (5) eBooks copies (worldwide) of MOXIE’S DECISION and three (3) print copies of MOXIE’S DECISION (U.S. entries only). The giveaway ends at 12 a.m. (EST) on Monday, July 3. 

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