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Albert Camus

Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

the tears would not fall - Red Stick Diaries by Diamond Ryan

The long look of weariness was showing on my face from worried sleepless nights. It was a look that even makeup could not disguise. I was bouncing from pillar to post with my child in tow, praying for rest and relief.

Description:

Published: March 1st, 2015

A criminal drama that reveals the power and control that state and local justice system has over its residents. 

A young woman finds herself enthralled in a romantic love affair after rebuilding her life from a previously traumatic relationship. She soon learns that the man of her dreams is abusive, controlling and untouchable. 

He uses his network to enable his behaviors while he finds his next victims. 

Betrayal is a page directly from the diary of one of his victims.

EXCERPT

The long look of weariness was showing on my face from worried sleepless nights. It was a look that even makeup could not disguise. I was bouncing from pillar to post with my child in tow, praying for rest and relief. I needed someone to understand and surely I believed she could see. But that was just my own self led deceptions. It was I who felt this other person would feel what I would have felt, had things been differently, and it was she and her child in the streets. But she had no children. Barren of life and selfish of life, not understanding life. She could not know the love for another wrought of your soul. 

Still I wanted to believe. I clung to the only thing that felt like family. Until I would learn that I was being called friend only to be used. My spirit was bent until broken and a breach in friendship that was now forever lost. Betrayed and pretending that you haven't just lost everything. Pretending that this isn't happening to you. A thousand thoughts ramble through your mind as you become lost in a tornado of hapless broke events that spiral you even faster towards uncertainty. Tossing and tugging and fighting and struggling and crying inside all the way down to the bottom of the pit of no return. 

But the tears would not fall. Instead the tears welled up inside of me hidden and unseen. I felt it throughout my whole being. 'Don't cry'. I would tell myself. 'We haven't time for that right now.' Never let them see you sweat.

About the author:
Pen Name: Diamond Ryan, Maya Pinyon
Born: 1958, Los Angeles, California.
Published author and poet.
228 243­0331
Published: The National Library of Poetry 1998 Anthology. Poem: A Tear Falls.
Selected for Anthology; Sound of Poetry. 2002.The Day The Angels Cried.
Nominated for Poet of the Year 2003; International Society of Poets.
Author/Speaker/Youth & Women Advocate/Marketing & Promotions ∙ Baton Rouge and New
Orleans, Louisiana ∙ The Red Shoes.org. 2011 – 2012



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