"Mostly I couldn’t stop smiling and giggling the entire time, but I also cried at the end. There was so much humor and love in the story, and so many awww-inspiring moments; I truly, completely adored it. Haven Francis absolutely won me over with Brighton and Jay. It’s tough to write a YA/NA book with the authentic voice this one has. I have no doubt I’ll end up reading it again at some point." - Novel Approach, Goodreads
Published: June 27th, 2017
In the small town of Spring Valley, molds weren’t made to be broken, and high school senior Jay Hall’s been living comfortably in his popular jock one since adolescence. If it weren’t for the colorful, outspoken artistic anomaly Brighton Bello-Adler, he might have been willing to remain there. Unnaturally drawn to Brighton, Jay knows he needs something from him, but is he ready to find out what that something is?
Temporarily ditching his old life, Jay climbs into Brighton’s Bronco and finds himself on a whirlwind road trip through parts of his small town he didn’t know existed. When the excursion takes an unexpected turn, Jay is cracked wide open, and the person who’s revealed does strange things to Brighton’s heart.
But just when it appears they could be headed toward their own shared piece of paradise, the road takes a sharp right turn into Jay’s life—where the real trip is about to begin.
In an unconventional love story that defies labels, two young men embark on a journey toward growing up, coming out, and finding their place in the world. It’s a trip that ranges from heartbreaking to uplifting, funny to sweet, but always unique and personal.
EXCERPT
Prologue—Jay
When I woke up Friday morning, I knew it was
going to be the day I would finally change my life.
Which, in retrospect, seems like a totally
unattainable goal for the day. I mean, who can really change their life in a
single day? Just to be clear, I’m talking about for the better. Fucking up your entire life in one day—that’s
totally doable. Really, all it would take is 140 characters exposing your dirty
black soul on Twitter. You wouldn’t even have to leave your bed.
Realistically, fucking it up would have been
the more likely outcome considering the exact changes I needed to make. Again,
I’m only realizing this in retrospect, which I’m suddenly starting to despise. Why the delayed reaction, common sense? Seriously.
In my defense, I was blinded by an epiphany. I
shit you not. It’s the only explanation for the clarity that pushed out all the
regular crap that usually occupies my brain.
Has that ever happened to you? Have you ever
opened your eyes and immediately cringed because suddenly the exact depth of
suck-ass your life has reached is slapping you repeatedly in the face? Trust
me, it sucks. I mean, you go to bed in a comfortable state of denial thinking
life’s great. In my case my girlfriend had watched me hit the game-winning
double, and afterward my teammates and I had knocked back a few beers before
heading home to our McMansions in Folsom Hills. Life is dandy. You sleep like a damn baby—that’s how comfortable
you are in your warm shit pile of a life.
And then—ka, fucking, boom—you wake up and… oh hell no, how the hell did this happen?
Someone bring me a fallout shelter because I need a safe place to escape from
my life for the rest of eternity.
But no fallout shelter comes, and eventually
you’re forced to see that your entire life must be destroyed and then
resurrected. And all you can think is thank
God this mayhem came in the form of an epiphany, because you’re definitely gonna need some divine powers to help
you out.
It was all a mess, but the thing that was
really screwing with my head was why it all
had to change. I mean, I knew why. Deep down I’d always known why, but I
had managed to live in the safety of denial for years.
Not anymore. The veil of delusion was lifted
and suddenly, everything was blindingly clear.
And what was clear to me that morning was that
I had forfeited the life that should have been mine. In fact I had veered as
far as I possibly could from my should-have-been life. The path I’d chosen was
definitely not the one less traveled. I took the path that had been tromped
over a million times. It was a sharp right turn, backward a good mile and a
half, around corners, down hills, through a forest, and across the universe
from where I’d really wanted to go.
But suddenly I was forced to go there. The
maze I would have to navigate in order to backtrack be damned.
Once the shock and terror passed, I felt
inspired. I was all knowing and all-powerful and anything was possible. Reality
could suck me, because I wasn’t taking its crap anymore.
That Rambo bullshit lasted for a good hour.
And then I walked into school.
I could feel my confidence crack as soon as
the big metal door closed behind me. But a crack wasn’t going to stop me from
doing what had to be done because, dammit; I had an epiphany. I was working
alongside higher powers, and it was now or never.
But hell, I mean I couldn’t just change everything immediately. So I wrapped my
arm around Sadie and walked to my literal circle of friends who were huddled in
the middle of the commons like they were every morning. At first I looked at
them with my brand-new superior eyes and thought, I’m better than this. I have more to offer the world than my exceptional
athletic ability, good looks, and diligent study habits. I have nothing in
common with these people. My should-have-been-life is so much better than this.
While thinking these thoughts, I was
midsentence—talking to Jones about the party he was having on Saturday—when
Mack slapped me on the chest. He started insulting my performance from the
night before, which was obviously bullshit because I always kill it on the
field. I insulted him back. This was the banter we were comfortable in.
Friendly digs were thrown around for a minute, and then he brought Sadie into
it, telling me she needed to do a better job of “warming me up” before our next
game. I didn’t defend my virginal girlfriend, but instead told him I was always
plenty warmed up (wink wink). Which
probably should have been the first, or now that I’m thinking about it, at
least the third (seriously retrospect, damn you) sign that my life was not, in
fact, on the fast track to change. But really I didn’t see it until I began to
turn my head back to Sadie.
That’s when my world went into some weird
stop-start motion of clarity:
Jesus,
all these guys are wearing the same damn outfits: basketball shoes, perfectly
distressed jeans, and brand-name T-shirts under their letterman jackets.
Holy
shit, almost all of them have their arms wrapped around popular, beautiful
cheerleaders.
And, for
fuck’s sake, they’re all talking about last night’s game or Jones’s party.
It freaked me the hell out because—God, this is just too sad—they were
clones. They could have all been the same damn person. It was eerie as hell.
And at first it felt like more proof that I deserved better.
But then, when I finally looked at Sadie, I
saw my arm: my letterman jacketed arm was wrapped around a popular, beautiful
cheerleader, and it all hit me again without warning—because that’s how theses
god-awful epiphanies work.
I woke up that morning convinced I was
different, that I deserved more. And yet, I put on the exact same jeans,
T-shirt, and basketball shoes as all these guys. Then I automatically walked
into that circle, wrapping an arm around Sadie and dragging her with me because
she was the piece that completed my jocktastic ensemble. And then I spewed out
the exact same words all these guys were spewing out.
And that’s what got me.
I had nothing else to talk about. Sports,
parties, and girls—that was pretty much the extent of my vocabulary. There
wasn’t actually a unique and interesting person locked in some weird chamber
inside of me trying to claw his way out. I was Jay
Hall: quintessential popular jock asshole. Despite the fact that I knew there
was one thing that separated me from these guys, it didn’t make me different
from them. I had no right to even consider that I deserved to be anyone else.
Mind.
Blown.
As the day went on, I couldn’t deny the fact
that I was trapped, cocooned by a mass of kids living the exact same life as
me. The roadblocks were clean-cut, attractive, and popular, and they were as
deep as childhood and adolescence combined. And the road I was trying to go
down was narrow, muddy, and filled with potholes anyway. So why did I even give
a shit?
By third period I had given up the dream. And
I was feeling claustrophobic.
When I woke up on Friday morning, I knew it
was going to be the day I would finally change my life. I thought I’d had an
epiphany. I thought I needed a divine, unexplainable act to finally give me the
courage to do something.
But in the end it wasn’t divinity at all.
It was a simple piece of paper with a few
numbers scratched on it. A piece of paper that ended up turning my life upside
down and cracking me open in the process.
On Friday morning if you had told me that a
damn piece of paper would, within twenty-four hours, cause my entire world to
implode, I would have told you to shove it up your ass. Paper schmaper, I was
working with a goddamn epiphany.
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About the author:
An escapist filled with wanderlust, writing is Haven’s responsible adult version of getting in the car and driving without aim. Reading and music are close seconds. She and her husband can often be found checking out their favorite bands locally or hundreds of miles away via road trips. Reading is something they don’t have in common, but he tolerates her dimly lit late-night habit.
Haven once made a living writing about trends in interior design but thoroughly enjoys that fact that people, unlike furniture, can fall in love. She especially loves when they fall desperately and into a forbidden kind of love. Haven also works as a graphic designer but considers Mom her most important title.
She has a slightly embarrassing fascination with the period of life that sits awkwardly between childhood and adulthood; the years when nothing is certain, lots of mistakes are made, falling in love is inevitable, and finding yourself is a struggle. For her it’s a fun place to escape to and she hopes her readers agree.
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3 comments:
This sounds like a great story with all the feels! Thank you
Sounds like a good read.
Sounds very interesting.
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