Publication Date: April 21st, 2014
Cover Designer: Melody Simmons
Description:
Elle was never broken.
She wasn't shattered.
And she sure as hell never needed to be saved.
That is, until she found out what the aftermath of love was capable of causing.
Doing her best to stay afloat amidst the sh!t storm that has become her life, Elle is hanging on by a thread. Between worrying about Fernie’s precarious future, an incident with a Shemar Moore look-alike gone terribly wrong, and an inability to let go of her feelings for J, Elle just can’t seem to get her head straight.
Deciding a change of atmosphere is what she needs, Elle heads to Mexico to study abroad for a semester.
She has no idea that she is walking into an even worse storm.
One that involves a pissed off MC President, a ruthless drug cartel, and a man willing to die to have her light.
Elle isn't looking for love. Hardened by years on the streets, she's learned to take care of herself by covering her heart with ice and keeping men at arm's length. She's not weak and she doesn't need to be saved. But she wouldn't mind getting laid a little more often.
J's covered his heart with steel. He owe's his life to an MC that is not what it seems. Since he knows his priority must be to the club's demands, no matter how illegal, he decided a long time ago that love didn't fit anywhere in his life.
A not so chance, but definitely hot encounter on a crowded dance floor should be enough for J, but he can't seem to stay away from Elle. As she begins to melt his steel, and he manages to chip away her ice, his forced loyalty to the MC threatens to tear them apart. When the risk becomes greater than J expected, will love be enough to keep Elle from freezing her heart to him?
I know I'm a monster, but Elle made me feel like a man. If she knew what I did, about my life with MM, she'd never love me. So I lied. Well, I starfished, and in the end, it brought my world crashing down around me.
I can't go back to being a monster, because that would mean existing without Elle. So I've made a plan. A plan that could kill me. It doesn't matter though, because I'd rather be dead than live a life without Elle in it.
If I survive, will Elle forgive me? If I tell her everything, will she see past the monster? Will she see the man?
EXCERPT
“I came here, baby, to tell you I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.” He inhaled sharply, but said in an even voice. “And I can’t lose you before the greatest fight I will ever wage.”
Redemption. Could I absolve him? I lay in a hospital bed for two weeks. All of it at his hands. I’d been marred, though the scar on my skin was not the worst damage. It was a reminder of the scar I’d carried inside. Could he erase that scar? Could he heal a wound one could not see?
There was silence, deafening silence. I tried to keep it together. I used every ounce of energy I had to keep the fire at a low flame, but it blazed through me. He would’ve shot my kid, and I couldn’t let that happen. These kids, they’d become my lifeline. My light.
“Without those kids, I’m just as dark as you.” I said emotionlessly, empty. These last few weeks of pretending during the day, only to come home and sob until sleep graced me was maddening. “I’ve got nothing left to give you, J. Nothing.”
I hung my head, losing the fight with the tears that had been threatening to erupt since J arrived. “I can’t be your light, when I have none.”
We lay on the floor, two damaged bodies searching for the light. J pulled my head into his hands, bringing us face to face. I could feel his breath against my lips. “You were a comet that bust into my life out of no where” he whispered. “I begged for you. On my knees in the dirt, I groveled to the sky to bring me light. And there you were, at Eight Oh Eight, staring up at me, even though I knew you couldn’t see through the window. I saw you, though. Elle, I saw you long before you saw me.”
“How could I love a killer?”
“How much pain was worth loving this man?
“Please, baby. Please. I need you. I love you. I can’t go into this without knowing you’ll be here when I return.”
“I’m not sure what to say. I want to tell you I’ll wait. That I’ll be here, waiting like a good girl for you. I want to because I love you. Fuck, I love you.” I turned, finally ready to look him in the eye. “I don’t know where I’ll be. I can’t tell you that. But I can tell you that I love the fuck out of you, and no matter how much I try to stop,” I paused. Fuck this mother fucker. Fuck! God, why was he doing this to me? Angry tears, sad tears, hopeless tears, tears filled with longing fell from my eyes. J caught then with his thumb, but there were too many. They ran over his fingers like a waterfall.
“Fuck, J. I don’t want you to die.”
He pulled me to him, and I inhaled his scent. I’d never be able to smell Acqua di mother fucking Gio again and not think of him. Today it was mixed with the smell of exhaust, like he’d been riding around all night. For what felt like the gazillionth time, I crumbled into his arms. How did two times come to be a number exponentially higher?
“I don’t want to die, baby. I want to fall asleep next to you. I want to wake up next to you. I’m fighting this war for you. To be with you.”
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About the author:
Emily is a Midwestern Gal, but could be anywhere as you read this. She gypsy's the country, as well as south of the border. Adventure feeds her soul, and offers great writing material.
She loves kids and working with kids, but can only handle caring for four-legged furry friends. A crazy dog and laid back cat have trained her to be their partner in life.
Vices include Swedish Fish, ignoring chores in favor of reading, and caring too much for people in her life. She chose to write this bio in third person as she is an Aries, and found writing in first person ended up with her writing an excessively long life story.
Aries like to talk about themselves. It is something Emily is working on being more mindful of.
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