"I can’t even begin to express how much I enjoyed this book. I was horrified during parts, laughing during other and a strange combination of the two during even other parts of the book." - Jolie, Goodreads
Description:
Release Date: July 23rd 2017
Have you ever noticed that reading a book on the toilet takes forever?
Wouldn’t it be nice to have stories suited to your specific potty needs?
This collection of short stories ranges from 50 words to more than 50 pages, separated in categories labeled to fit your bathroom needs: NUMBER ONE, NUMBER TWO, and FARFROMPOOPIN.
The idea is to give you, the reader, a great deal of material to read, tailored and categorized to the needs of your intestines and bladder. So go ahead, get comfortable, pull out your Squatty Potty® and enjoy some fantasy, science fiction, horror, adventure, and humor from the comfort of your own throne…the john…the latrine…your office…the bathroom, whatever you want to call it. Just be sure to wash your hands once you’re done.
GUEST POST
PLEASE, SIR. MAY I HAVE ANOTHER?
How many rejections should you expect before you hear a yes? In terms of sales: 100. It takes 100 no’s to get a yes. So what does that mean for your writing? It means you finally have a goal. You heard me: your goal should be 100 rejections.
TICK-TOCK, TICK-TOCK
Once you stop name calling and swearing, I’ll keep going….You done? Good! Writing is just another day job. There is nothing special that separates the careers of writers from the rest. Your story is a product and you are the salesman. Period. You have a job to do:
· Sell the best product — It sounds simple enough, but if you want to sell something it should be top notch, without any scratches, and it shouldn’t be broken. As a consumer, would you purchase a computer monitor if the screen was scratched? How about a gallon of milk with the cap unscrewed? Of course not. Yet, so many writers try to sell unfinished product in an already saturated market. Polish, edit, polish, edit until it is as good as it gets.
· Know your audience — How many cars do you think a third grader has bought in the past ten years? How many diapers has a bachelor bought? If you are trying to sell a genre story in a literary market it will be tough. You need to find houses or agents that publish or rep stories like yours. How? You have to research, and that includes purchasing the magazines you would like to see your work in if you are selling in that market. In the real world, people take prospective clients out to lunch. Buying an ezine or a year subscription is no different (and probably costs less).
· Don’t take rejections personal — News flash: YOU WILL RECEIVE MORE NO’S THAN YES’S. In any sales job, more customers will walk away empty handed than those who purchase. Why should your story be any different? The reason you think it should be different is because you wrote it. It’s brilliant. It’s the most fabulous story ever written yet. But the truth is, it’s still a product that needs to find the right buyer. What would happen if you walked into Best Buy, had an employee show you some computers, and when you say you’d like to think about it or you’re not interested, the employee broke down in tears or swore at you that you didn’t know anything? It would be kind of creepy. That’s what happens when you freak out over a rejection. When you decide that you aren’t good enough because an editor at XYZ pub didn’t connect to your piece. Or ABC Agent didn’t buy your book and negotiate the movie rights on the fly. Your book is a product, and you are a salesperson.
Smile and keep querying!
It takes 100 no’s to get a yes. So, rejoice over that rejection. Keep a tally. Remember that each no gets you closer to that coveted yes. Have a goal and when you hit rejection 50 celebrate because you’re halfway there. After 2 years of persevering, I am proud to share that I have signed with Saritza Hernandez of the Corvisiero Agency for my next book, EXPOSURE. If it can happen to me, it can happen to you too!
Jaimie Engle was once sucked into a storybook, where she decided she would become an author. She has modeled, managed a hip-hop band, and run a body shop. She loves coffee, trivia, cosplay, and podcasting on ORIGINS, where myth and science meet (podcastORIGINS.com). Basically, if it's slanted toward the supernatural or nerdy, she's into it! She lives in Florida with her awesome husband, hilarious children, and the world's best dog. She also happens to have the world’s best literary agent, Saritza Hernandez. Become a fan at theWRITEengle.com. Follow on social media and pick up her books.
Author's GiveawayS
Goodreads Giveaway: July 1 – July 22 (3 paperbacks)
Thank you for allowing me to guest post on your blog and for sharing my book with your fans! You rock!!
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