Entertaining from beginning to end, MOXIE'S DECISION is uproariously funny and satire at its best. Selected as one of 2016's best YA novels: Huffington Post.
It’s also a top pick! Indie Reader: 5 stars
Moxie has a plan; she’s determined to rule as queen after her father, King Smedley, dies.
But Smedley refuses to acknowledge her as his heir. Her uncle also wants the throne and he’s already tried once to eliminate Moxie as competition.
Moxie recognizes she hasn't been trained to rule and she needs lessons about the real world. Moxie goes on a quest to learn how to rule and to learn about life outside the castle.
Moxie faces unexpected obstacles as she struggles with adventures in a brutal reality that tests her mettle and determination.
This is a fantasy coming-of-age story that is decidedly different than the usual ones. The book is filled with satire and humor. What more can a reader wish for?
It takes place against the backdrop of Camelot, but this isn’t the Camelot of legends. It’s Camelot in a parallel universe where the Knights of the Round Table play football and Guinevere coaches the team’s cheer leaders. The wizard Merlin struggles to understand the Magic of the Mind using primitive ink stained diagrams and Stonehenge is a theater-in-the-round.
Moxie’s rollicking adventures are the stuff of comedy . Enjoy!
EXCERPT
EXCERPT
EXCERPT
Backstory:
Moxie has joined the Heroes Guild. The
chief instructor, Harry the Murderer is enraged that a woman has been allowed
to join. Harry has vowed to get Moxie to
quit within two days. This scene is
Moxie’s first day of training
For
the afternoon training session, Moxie and the others were issued wooden swords
and stuffed vests. Five instructors
broke the class up into small sections.
Before the instructors could start the training, Harry showed up. "This one is mine," he said
pointing to Moxie. Harry carried a
wooden sword. "Over here," he
told Moxie. "I'm gonna give ya
lessons ya won't forget."
Moxie's
emotional state plummeted. She knew
Harry's lessons would be painful.
At
an empty spot on the field, Harry said, "Attack me, Princess Pond
Scum."
Moxie
liked the sound of hurting Harry and she swung the sword at his stomach. To her surprise, the sword flew out of her
hand. Moxie rubbed her aching sword hand
and glared at the laughing Harry.
"Go git it, Pond Scum."
With
her sword held ready, Harry said, "Now I'm gonna attack and ya gotta block
my sword. Ready?"
Moxie
nodded. Harry's sword moved with a
blurring speed and whacked her in the ribs before she could begin to
react. Even with the protective vest,
she felt an acute pain from the blow.
Harry laughed again. "Ain't
this fun?"
Moxie
realized what Harry had in mind. He
planned to pummel her into submission, forcing her to leave the Guild. Moxie knew she had to do something to save
herself, but she didn't know what it was.
She'd just have to take the beating until Harry got tired.
Harry
said, "Attack me. The way I just
attacked ya."
Moxie
lunged and her sword flew out of hand again.
When she bent over to pick it up, Harry smacked her in the butt with the
flat of his sword blade. Moxie sprawled
on her stomach while Harry said, "Aww, is Princess Pond Scum eatin' some
dirt? How does it taste?"
Moxie
felt tears well up in her eyes. All her
classmates had stopped training and gawked at her and Harry. She couldn't take any more humiliation. She decided to end this uneven battle. Moxie stood up, brushed dirt from her uniform
front and walked over to Harry. He
looked down on her with a grin on her face.
Moxie
kicked Harry in the shin with the tip of her heavy boot.
Harry
roared in pain and surprise as he hopped around on one leg. When he stopped moving, Moxie kicked his
other shin and jumped back ten paces to get away from any wild punches from
Harry.
Harry's
face contorted in hatred and rage. His
eyes focused on Moxie. He growled and
sucked in huge draughts of air.
Moxie
knew Harry would tear her in half if he didn't get control of his anger.
When
Harry's breathing grew a bit more regular, Moxie said, "Stop being a
bully. You're supposed to be an
instructor. So why don't you teach me
something useful instead of toying with me and showing off what a great warrior
you are?" She slammed her hands on
her hips and glared at Harry.
Something
akin to a smile flickered across Harry's face and he nodded. "Let's talk defense first. Hold your sword like this." Harry held his sword upright with the hilt
waist high. "From this position ya
move it to block a blow from the left or right, high or low." He moved the sword to show how to block an
assault from various quarters. "Do that."
Moxie
imitated his movements.
"Faster
this time."
Moxie
did it again.
"Yer
too slow. Yer gonna die onna first
blow. Faster."
Moxie
went through the exercise a dozen times.
She could feel herself moving the sword faster and with more confidence.
Harry
nodded. "Now go back to yer
group." He walked off the
field.
Harry's
slight limp delighted Moxie.
Later
that day, when Moxie walked into the mess hall for dinner, everyone stood and
gave her an ovation.
Moxie
gaped at the trainees.
One
classmate waved her over to his table and a group of trainees squeezed together
to make room for her at their table.
A
bewildered Moxie sat down there with her food tray. "What's all the clapping for?" she
asked.
"Are
you kiddin'?" a classmate said.
"You're famous for kickin' Harry.
Everyone in the Guild knows about it."
"I
just did it to protect myself from his bullying. I don't think it's such a big deal."
"You
don't understand," another trainee said.
"You did what everyone of us always wanted to do but never had the
guts to do."
"And
it’s not just that," a third one added.
"Harry will now have his eye on you all the time and that means he
won't have time to harass us. You just
made everyone else's life easier."
"For
which we are in your debt," the first replied, "and we intend to
honor our debt."
Moxie's
eyes filled up again, but this time it wasn't from fear or sadness or
humiliation. For the first time in her
life, it was from happiness. She had
actually made some friends.
About the author:
Hank Quense writes humorous and satiric sci-fi and fantasy stories.
He also writes and lectures about fiction writing and self-publishing. He has published 19 books and 50 short stories along with dozens of
articles. He often lectures on fiction writing and publishing and has a series of guides covering the basics on each subject. He is currently working on a third Moxie novel that takes place in the Camelot era.
He and his wife, Pat, usually vacation in another galaxy or parallel universe. They also time travel occasionally when Hank is searching for new story ideas.
This tour-wide giveaway (prizes courtesy of the author) is for five (5) eBooks copies (worldwide) of MOXIE’S DECISION and three (3) print copies of MOXIE’S DECISION (U.S. entries only). The giveaway ends at 12 a.m. (EST) on Monday, July 3.
Getting to know the characters a bit through excerpts before you dive into a story is always fun. Thanks for sharing this excerpt and for being a part of Hank's tour.
ReplyDeleteMason
MC Book Tours
Sounds very interesting. I'd love to read it.
ReplyDeleteA great opportunity :)
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