Description:
Charlie should be packing her bags for college, but the life ahead of her isn’t one she’s certain she wants. Maybe that’s what led her to sleep with a perfect stranger at the county fair. Finding out he was a carnie was like winning the bonus round of the world’s worst game.
Blue grew up in the carnival, never staying anywhere long enough to call home. He never thought of himself as the type to seduce a local, let alone fall in love with one, but his impulsiveness got the better of him this time. He should go where the carnival takes him, but for the first time he’s not sure if he wants to go.
When he makes the decision to stick around, Charlie eagerly follows him down the rabbit hole; into a world with no regard for consequences or regret. Most of all, he shows her that home isn’t a place, it’s a feeling they can create and share. For a price. Because the higher the roller coaster goes, the faster it all comes crashing down.
EXCERPT
"Blue’s hollering echoes everything I’m feeling on the inside. We flip forward and backward. For all intents and purposes, we flip sideways too—a physical impossibility without crashing to the ground, but sideways we go.
One, two, three flips in a row. Reaching the top of the rotating axis, we’re flung upside down. It’s the moment where thrills reach the point of climax. The point in the ride when everything has lined up perfectly—the cage, the axis, and the chains. If that happens at the tip of the axis, then it feels as if you are being thrown into another world. At the very least, it feels like you’ve been thrown from the chains.
Two minutes in this cage feels like a lifetime in seconds. Two minutes in this cage with Blue feels like being swamped by a thousand migrating butterflies. The childish grin on his face, in between shouts of ecstasy, argues with his strong, muscular body as we flip.
We could lose a bolt with every flip and I probably wouldn’t notice. We could be one bolt away from breaking news and I wouldn’t be any the wiser. The cage could fly open, and I wouldn’t even know it until I woke up in hell.
Blue turns to me with his palms still pressed against the roof. It’s magnetic, and I have no choice but to look right back. Neon lights swirl behind him, illuminating half his face at once. He’s just as perfect in the shadows as he is in the light. There’s something in those eyes—a lifetime of stories and I want nothing more than to go down the rabbit hole.
Engines roar from the derby in the distance and just like the crashed-up cars there, I know what it feels like to be wrecked. This ride won’t last forever, and when it comes to a stop, I need to have made a decision."
************
He moves toward me like he’s about to embrace me or something. It’s not a conscious choice, but I lean back. He gets the hint and stops.
“What’s wrong?” he asks.
I need a second to think about the answer. It’s right on the tip of my tongue, but it’s not ready to come out. I look everywhere but at him. “The world.”
“That’s mysterious,” he says with a nod, “but I get it.”
My eyes catch his. “Do you?”
“I figured it out about fifteen minutes after I woke up.”
“Sorry about that.”
“For leaving? Don’t be. Like I said, I get it.”
I begin playing with my hair. I’m sure it annoys everyone but me when I do it.
He gets closer and this time I don’t pull back. “You’re hurt. You’re scared. You’re kind of lost. The world’s spinning and you just wanna jump off?”
“Something like that.”
“Let me get off with you.”
A chuckle escapes my throat. Blue’s eyes squint and I can tell he’s a little frustrated. “That’s not what I meant.”
“I know,” I say and straighten my face out, back into serious mode. Those two words reminding me how terribly lost I’ve been.
“What I’m trying to say is that we all get lost sometimes. Just like you’re lost now, I was lost when I met you.” The rain rolls off the edge of his lips. “I think I’m still kind of lost, like I’m all the way out there on Venus or wherever the hell it is that you girls come from.”
“Blue,” I interject.
“No. I’m going to finish because I’m not going to take the chance that you’re going to say something stupid.”
“Stupid?” I ask, offended.
“Please, let me finish.”
My hand pats against my jeans. “Fine.”
“So I’m out there on Venus, but it’s you who always brings me back to Earth. Like you’re the Sun and I’m the Moon, and I know that we belong together because, hey, gravity.”
Strangely, I get his point. Even if he’s getting to said point in a rather contrived fashion. I wonder aloud, “One might think you’re on drugs or something with all this Plato-ing.”
“I want to say that your love is my drug, but I think I’m all cheesed out.” He smiles and it’s a relief.
“That’s probably a good thing.” I roll my tongue across my lip. “Now, can I say something stupid?”
“About that, I didn’t mean to—”
“Look, I love you and that’s not a question, it’s a fact. Some days, I wake up and know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Other days, it’s a neon blur. It’s like I don’t know who I am anymore.”
It’s quick and it’s gentle, but his palms grab me and hold me by the cheeks. “I know who you are. You’re Charlie. Sweet, beautiful, smart as fuck Charlie—the girl that I’m going to spend the rest of my life with. Everybody gets lost at some point, but I’m here to remind you exactly who you are.”
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About the author:
I grew up on a farm in Ohio, but that's not very interesting, is it? When I'm not writing you can find me doing one of two things; getting lost on highways or getting lost in the lives of fictional characters. If my heart had two feet, one foot would be in romance and the other solidly in geekdom. I hope you'll all follow me on my journey through this carnival they call life.I promise there will be a happy ending.
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